The Great Martian Political Circus

Satire Jul 13, 2021

On the dusty landscapes of Mars, an old copy of a controversial newspaper ‘The Times of Mars’, now shut-down by the devotees of the Supreme Leader, can be found. The copy has an interesting headline - “Martian Amendment Act passed - future of millions of Reds in doubt”.
The article reads - Supreme Leader passes the Martian Amendment Act which gives citizenship rights to the immigrant Blue Martians seeking refuge from asteroid colonies.
While the move brings a wave of relief to millions of Blue Martians who had escaped their war-torn colonies, some political analysts and leaders of the opposition express their concerns about the execution of the law on the ground.
Opposition Leader Mehul Hangi said, “While the Martian Amendment Act is a great initiative by the Supreme Leader, the timing of it tells us that there is a hidden agenda.
Last week the right-hand of the Supreme Leader Jatin Shah spoke about the
government’s plan to bring in the Red Martian Register. This reeks of discrimination based on our colour. Aren’t Red Martian citizens too? Are they less affected than Blue Martians?”
Government spokesperson, Nimit Papra was quoted saying, “Mehul Ji is running the planet’s largest opposition party; however, what are his credentials? Is he in the party chair because of his parents? Blue and Reds are both welcomed in our nation.” When the reporter questioned why the act was about only Blue Martians. Nimit Papra replied,
“All Martians are equal, however, some Martians are more equal than others. People are trying to misinterpret the law, however, we have to trust the Supreme Leader. He is working 30 hours a day for the betterment of the people.” Internet activists are
wondering how the Supreme Leader gets 30 hours a day to work when Mars only has 24 hours and 39 minutes in a day.
Red Martians took to the street in protest of the bills and were marching to the national capital when riots broke out. The Supreme Leader’s supporters indicated that the
students of ‘Free Red Education University’ were to be blamed for the riots. A flurry of messages has been going around blaming the varsity students. A video went viral where alleged students can be seen torching the university library. Meanwhile, the students are accusing the supporters of the Supreme Leader of infiltrating the university campus and torching the library.
The Supreme Leader appeared on his chat show ‘Mars Ki Baat’ where he requested his fellow Martians to maintain peace. He shed a few tears while remembering his hard childhood days of selling sandshakes at spaceship stations.
Ironically, the riots flared post the Supreme Leader’s peace appeal, and the capital
burned for days. The local State-head, AK Wejrikal, had to call for a curfew. He went on a dharna and blamed the Supreme Leader for everything.
While the blood flowed down the streets of the capital, another battle was being fought on social media. Troll accounts shared offensive memes, bot-armies mass reported accounts, hashtag activists sent death threats. It was a shit show.
The impact of the riots was not just limited to loss of lives and property damage. The economic curve showed a downward movement due to a decline in the sale of consumer goods. Transportation saw the biggest dip as Mars Rail Corp. face a loss of 13 million marscoins.

Meanwhile, in the Martian heaven, God and his assistant watched the hullabaloo on a large plasma screen fitted on a dying sun.
The assistant asked, “Both sides were concerned about either Red or Blue Martians, right? But the politicians have forgotten them. The issue isn’t about their welfare anymore.”
“What does that tell you?” the all-knowing God asked. A serene smile on his face.
“The people were just propaganda tools the politicians used to further their gains,” the assistant answered in shock. “They never cared about the welfare of any of these people. God placed his calming hand on the assistant’s shoulder. “And that my friend is politics. It was a powerful tool that could have changed lives, but now it has become like an old wound, the worms of corruption and treacherous politicians festering over it, denying the body - the people and the nation - a chance to heal and improve.”


“How long will it last, O’ Omniscient One?”
“That is for the people to decide!”

Word War 1

This post was submitted as an entry for Word War I, a writing competition organised by DJ Lit! Follow us on Instagram to stay tuned for more such events : https://www.instagram.com/dj.litsoc/?hl=en

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